7 Tips for Building Your Confidence after Divorce
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| Image Courtesy Of: Coachingfordivorcedwomen.com Divorce is heart wrenching, to say the least. It leaves you lonely, depressed, and often feeling bad about yourself. Unfortunately, there’s no way around these feelings; you have to work through them in order to move on. But there are some things you can do to gain back your confidence. |
1.
Get
to Know Yourself
After a divorce, the
loneliness and pain can make it tempting to jump into a new relationship right
away. Don’t. You need time to figure out who you are without your former
spouse. And you need to love yourself for who you are before you try to love
someone else.
To heal and discover
yourself again, focus on your interests. Make a list of all the things you love
to do and whenever you’re feeling down, pick one to do. Add to the list two or
three things that you’ve always wanted to do but never had the time for. When
you drop your kids off to visit your ex, go straight to an activity that is
uplifting and fulfilling for you. Staying busy and trying new things will make
you feel accomplished and self-assured.
2.
Stay
Involved
While you do need alone
time to both grieve and become comfortable being by yourself, spend plenty of
time with friends and family too. Rely on them and talk to them about how you
are feeling. They can help you see what an amazing person you are, no matter
what has happened in your marriage.
If you need additional
support, find a group online or in your community with others who are
struggling with the same challenges. You may be surprised at how much strength
you can find from others who share similar experiences. Consider counselling as
another way to work through your grief.
3.
Stay
Healthy
Everyone feels better
when they are exercising and eating well. Exercise releases endorphins, which
boost your mood. See this time as an opportunity to work on yourself and get in
the best shape you can—for you, not for anyone else. And, as Dr. Phil
eloquently puts it, “You’ll have what you create.”
It’s normal for
divorcees to feel guilty for spending time away from their children. But
remember, the best thing you can do for your children is to be the best,
strongest version of you. Take time each day to become stronger physically, and
you’ll be stronger mentally and will be an example for your children.
4.
Focus
on the Positive
It will be tempting to
see the negative things about your life after divorce. But focusing on those
things will only make you feel worse. Instead, make a conscious effort to see
the positive things in your life.
Focus on your talents,
your accomplishments, and the exceptional things about yourself. Concentrate on
the friends who stay beside you, not the ones who take your ex-spouse’s side. The
more you look for the positives, the more of them you will see and the brighter
life will become.
5.
Forgive
Yourself, and Forgive Others
Guilt and anger gnaw at
a person. Harboring those negative feelings will prolong your healing process.
Instead, take action. Apologize to those whom you feel you have wronged. Do
your best to make recompense for the hurt you caused them. Realize that you are
human and there is only so much you can do to fix things.
If you feel that you
deserve an apology from someone, approach them in an open, kind way. Explain
how you feel. Be willing to let go of your anger, whether or not they
apologize. If you do not feel comfortable talking to that person, you may have
to find the strength to move on anyway. You may not be able to do it right
away, but slowly try to let go of the negative feelings you are clinging to.
6.
Celebrate
Yourself
Take time every day to
celebrate something about yourself—how great your hair looks that day, the
definition you can see in your arms, learning something new, smiling that day, or
talking with your Richmond Hill lawyer without crying. Taking that time to
honor yourself, your accomplishments, and your milestones will help you realize
your value and feel happier.
7.
Have
Fun with Your Kids
No matter what happened
between you and your spouse, you’ve been blessed with wonderful kids. Spend
time with them. Make memories and have fun. Do things that will bring you
together and build their self-esteem and confidence. Focusing on the well-being
of others can do wonders for your morale.
Recovering after your divorce will take time. Be
patient with yourself as your work through the many emotions that will surface.
The time will come when you feel good—even great—again. Follow these tips and
look for others, and you’ll be on your way to feeling like a new, confident
you.
EdsonSenna is a freelance writer who specializes in family matters and
health and wellness. He gets ideas for his articles from companies like Donnell Law Group.
In his spare time, Edson enjoys reading everything he can and spending time
with friends and family.
14 Tools To Get Your Creative Juices Flowing
There comes a time when bloggers and writers hit the old writer's block. It's really little you can do to avoid it when it's going to happen every once in a while. But there are methods/tools to use in order to get out of the rut that writer's block puts you in and get back your inspiration, little by little.
Here's some tools to use when you're feeling out of inspiration.
Brainy Quote has a huge selection of famous quotes that you can browse through to get inspired.
Story Starter randomly generates ways to start your novel, posts, scripts, or plays. There are some crazy starter ideas in here, but most of them will trigger an idea you'll want to use.
Why Not? is an idea exchange website where you can vote and get inspired by other people's ideas.
Bank Of Imagination can be an addictive website. Here you can share your thoughts and ponderings or look at other people's pondering and get ideas.
Camp Nanowrimo is an online camp to prepare you for Nanowrimo in November, but you can use it for writing outside of Nanowrimo.
GET IN THE MOOD
Rainy Mood plays the sound of calming rain falling from the sky.
Rainfor.me plays rain too but you can hear the sound of the wind and trees blowing.
Stereo Mood turns your mood into music.
Moodstream is similar to Stereo Mood.
Soundrown plays different ambient sounds that helps inspire and keep you motivated.
Coffitivity plays sounds from a coffee shop.
GET IMAGE INSPIRATION
Tumblr is a blogging website community that has millions of images and ideas that will be sure to inspire you.
We Heart It is another excellent community that has ideas ready to be discovered.
Pinterest is a popular website where people can pin their favorite things.
My Top Five Favorite Christian Blogs
I've fallen in love with the quote: "I believe in God like I believe in the sun, not because I can see it, but because of it all things are seen." It couldn't be more true. Thinking about God has me thinking about my life and what I'm doing with it. I don't want to fall into that realm of living that will bring me down. I know my life here on earth is limited and I plan to make it right.
That being said, I realized that I want to take this blog in a slightly, different direction. There won't be any hardcore changes, there will be more "me" talking inside every blog post. I want to let my re-found faith in God to speak through every word I write for my readers. I have always loved God. He is what I live for and I want to make that be my leading force.
Without him, I wouldn't be who I am-- who I am meant to be. This will not be a religious blog (even though there's nothing wrong with that), but a blog where I find myself, rebuild myself, with the help of God. Below is a small list of christian blogs that I love to read. They are not in particular order; they're all unique in their own way.
Internet Monk is a great blog with an evangelical approach that gets you thinking.
Sayable is run by Lore Ferguson. She has an inspiring way of finding messages in the world around us.
Christian Personal Finance was one of the first christian blogs I came across that gave useful advice on the money spectrum of our lives.
Beginning And End post about Christianity in the media, bible, and elsewhere.
ODAK has many posts about theology, culture, scripture, etc.
I'm positive that there are many more decent christian blogs just like these. If you think I'm missing one, please leave a comment.
3 Free Tools To Help You Meet Your Writing Goals
Do you remember those days when all you do is sit at your computer and stare? You had no clue of what you wanted to write about. Maybe you had writers block, trouble with finding a good plot or topic, or you were just not feeling too enthusiastic about the whole point of writing.
Listed below are 3 resources that will get your creative juices flowing. You can't go wrong with either of these. It's best if you give each one a try to see which one suits your needs better.
750 Words is like a private journal that you can use to write about anything. The concept revolves around dumping everything you have on your mind and putting them into words. This is a great stress reliever if you're one of those people who need a way to get everything off your chest. 750 Words tracks down your progress through points on your scorecard so that you can stay motivated. The thing I like the most is the fact that you can go back and see your archive months or even years from now, and see how your writing has improved.
One Page Per Day is similar to 750 Words. The major differences are: writing one page a day, you can only sign up with your existing Google or Twitter accounts, and they will send you a gentle reminder to write your page each day. I see OPPD as a better fit for writers who aim to write a book because OPPD will not let you write over or under a page. I find that great since it motivates you to get a page done automatically and it's a good way to see your book come together more quickly.
You may have heard of Write or Die in the Nanowrimo forums. WOD can be really brutal so I only insist you try this tool when you are ready for the consequences. WOD was made by Dr. Wicked who aims to stop procrastination in a unique way. You get to set your time that you want to spend writing then you can choose what mode you want to try: gentle, normal, or kamikaze. From there, you can start writing in the little box that pops up. Seems easy, right? The challenge comes in when you don't continuously write. If you are idle for more than a couple of seconds, your work starts getting deleted. Dr Wicked quotes, "Negative Reinforcement strengthens a behavior because a negative
condition is stopped or avoided as a consequence of the behavior.” WOD is a favorite among most writers because it motivates them to get the job done.
24 Inspirational Quotes That Will Get You Through The Day
There's no order to this list. I hope these quotes will inspire people and remind them that life is serious, but you don't have to make it seem that way. Have fun and let these quotes make your day.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." ― Eleanor
Roosevelt
"That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet." ― Emily Dickinson
"Charm can lie, beauty can vanish, but a woman who fears the Lord should be praised." ― Proverbs 31:30
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” ― Mae West
“In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.” ― Robert Frost
“The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.” ― Terri Garey
“I saw a star, I reached for it. I missed, so I accepted the sky” ― Scott Fortino
“Few of us ever live in the present. We are forever anticipating what is to come or remembering what has gone.” ― Louis L'Amour
“One of the sanest, surest, and most generous joys of life comes from being happy over the good fortune of others.” ― Robert A. Heinlein
“Death ends a life, not a relationship.” ― Jack Lemmon
“Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor.” ― Sholem Aleichem
“If it all looks good on the surface, I'll know I've failed at life” ― Julia Hoban, Willow
“Enjoy life. There's plenty of time to be dead.” ― Hans Christian Andersen
“The dead do not hurt you; only the living do.” ― Tess Gerritsen, The Sinner
“You can't run away from home without destroying somebody's world.” ― Neil Gaiman, MirrorMask
“People don't fail; they just stop trying.” ― Bud Boyd
“The happiness you feel is in direct proportion to the love you give.” ― Oprah Winfrey
“The reason why the universe is eternal is that it does not live for itself; it gives life to others as it transforms.” ― Lao Tzu
“I learned to love the fool in me. The one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes & loses often, lacks self-control, loves & hates, hurts & gets hurt, promises & breaks promises, laughs & cries.” ― Theodore Isaac Rubin
“Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body.” ― George Carlin
“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” ― Oscar Wilde
“The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.”
― Isaac Asimov
“We're all human, aren't we? Every human life is worth the same and worth saving.” ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
“Life is to be enjoyed, not endured” ― Gordon B. Hinckley
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." ― EleanorRoosevelt
"That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet." ― Emily Dickinson
"Charm can lie, beauty can vanish, but a woman who fears the Lord should be praised." ― Proverbs 31:30
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” ― Mae West
“In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.” ― Robert Frost
“The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.” ― Terri Garey
“I saw a star, I reached for it. I missed, so I accepted the sky” ― Scott Fortino
“Few of us ever live in the present. We are forever anticipating what is to come or remembering what has gone.” ― Louis L'Amour
“One of the sanest, surest, and most generous joys of life comes from being happy over the good fortune of others.” ― Robert A. Heinlein
“Death ends a life, not a relationship.” ― Jack Lemmon
“Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor.” ― Sholem Aleichem
“If it all looks good on the surface, I'll know I've failed at life” ― Julia Hoban, Willow
“Enjoy life. There's plenty of time to be dead.” ― Hans Christian Andersen
“The dead do not hurt you; only the living do.” ― Tess Gerritsen, The Sinner
“You can't run away from home without destroying somebody's world.” ― Neil Gaiman, MirrorMask
“People don't fail; they just stop trying.” ― Bud Boyd
“The happiness you feel is in direct proportion to the love you give.” ― Oprah Winfrey
“The reason why the universe is eternal is that it does not live for itself; it gives life to others as it transforms.” ― Lao Tzu
“I learned to love the fool in me. The one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes & loses often, lacks self-control, loves & hates, hurts & gets hurt, promises & breaks promises, laughs & cries.” ― Theodore Isaac Rubin
“Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body.” ― George Carlin
“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” ― Oscar Wilde
“The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.”
― Isaac Asimov
“We're all human, aren't we? Every human life is worth the same and worth saving.” ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
“Life is to be enjoyed, not endured” ― Gordon B. Hinckley
Get Rewarded For Exercising
Exercising is a must for most people's everyday life. Then there are those of us who hate exercising or don't find enough time to set aside for it. There's always something that stops us from doing the things we know we should be doing.
I realized yesterday that I've been slacking on my push-ups, sit-ups, and running. Push-ups and sit-ups come easily to me, but running is another story. For some reason I'm having a hard time catching my breath these days. I have trouble trying to stop myself from passing out more than anything else.
As I got to thinking, I thought that maybe I needed something to motivate me to do exercise more often. So I looked through some of my bookmarks because I save lots of articles, sites, and other ideas for my posts. I came across two lonely apps that could help motivate me more.
Nexercise is an app that's available for both iPhones and androids. Nexercise's purpose is that they can help you stay motivated with their point system. For every exercise you choose to do, your smartphone keeps track of the length of your workout and the effort put into it. The more points you get, the better chance there is for you to win their prizes. They give away gift cards, discounts, and other free stuff.
Earndit is a cute, little website that rewards you for earning points for exercising. They require you to connect a tracking device with them so that they can keep track of your progress. You get the option of competing in challenges and check on your rankings to see how you're fairing. What I like about Earndit is that once you accumulated enough points, you get to choose your rewards. You can also refer your friends for 100 credits or brag about your accomplishments for 20 credits. It's like a fun game that you can play everyday.
